Things always pop up to make me think of her. But lately, I had finished the Lydon book Knitting Heaven and Earth. In the book, the author talks about how she knitted a sweater for a terminally ill friend and how she felt she was trying to knit her friend to the earth. Then last week, I read an article in the new Handwoven by Jenny Pelc about weaving memorial banners for loved ones that have passed. Was I doing that with the wall hanging? I didn't think about it at the time, but I think maybe somewhere in my heart I was.
When I was getting ready to go for treatments back in July, I started crocheting a baby blanket. There are no grandchildren on the horizon as of yet, but I felt compelled to start this little blanket. I went to Joann's, bought 3 skeins of neutral baby colors and started crocheting. I just felt such a strong pull to do this. Maybe I was crocheting myself here to Earth. I need to stay here. I want to see the grandchild that this blanket will eventually cover.
My friend Jessica did not win her battle with cancer. She was 38 years old and left 2 beautiful and sweet little boys as her legacy. She has been gone for a year. I know she is ok though. More than ok. And here's how I know...
I have to back up first. When my dad passed 12 years ago (has it been that long?), we saw a rainbow on the day of his funeral. My mom said that was his way of telling us he was happy. A few years ago, I was at work and feeling very frightened and depressed about having an acoustic neuroma. While sitting at the information desk, a little girl who I had never seen before, or since, came up to me and gave me this...
...she said it was for me.
Shortly after Jess passed, I was walking along the beach and thinking about her. I sat down on one of the benches to rest and look at the water. I was thinking how much I wished she could tell me what it was like and how she was doing. I glanced down the beach a way and saw two people flying a kite. And guess what was on the kite... yes, a rainbow. And that's how I know Jess is happy.
